I haven’t written in a long time.
It has been uncomfortable taking a step back, staying quiet, waiting for inspiration, being patient and waking up each morning not knowing what the day will present to me. That being said, there is power in the pause. It has brought me great clarity.
My impatience has been one of my biggest challenges lately and now I take it as a sign that my focus needs to be redirected. I am choosing to find joy even in the pause, replacing impatience with excitement and anticipation which is much more powerful!
During my recent pause I have also decided to focus my work differently. My number one priority is to enjoy myself, every day. That’s right, it’s difficult for someone like me because I equate hard work to not enjoying myself.
I felt like working hard meant I should be doing things that are difficult, exhausting and stressful. The hard work has been to switch my mindset, and realize that more inspiration comes from joy, creativity, clarity and well-being. Truthfully, it has shifted my momentum!
It’s like driving and hitting all the green lights. Things fall into place. I say the right things at the right times to the right people. When I struggle, I let go and focus on something totally different that brings me joy, sometimes something as simple as reading a book. It has been nice to go with the flow, not struggling as much. I feel more certain and grounded.
As a bonus, I have come to understand what brings me joy are the things I could also do as a career.
For instance, I have never thought of myself as a particularly good salesperson. Yet, my days have been filled with networking as part of my job search and I find great joy in doing this. I love connecting with and influencing people and someone close to me pointed out that is a characteristic of a good salesperson. So, why have I been fighting it all my life? Sometimes I derail myself with beliefs that don’t serve me. For that reason, I am opening my mind to options I hadn’t considered before.
I started teaching yoga this past week. I’m already beginning to feel more confident. It’s amazing to me because public speaking had eluded me for many years.
In the past, I avoided it like a plague which prevented me from experiencing opportunities. My passion for yoga has enabled me to overcome my fear which is empowering and here I am, doing it, and enjoying it. Now, the problem may be getting me to stop talking.
I have resumed my search for opportunities with new vigor. I’m ready now. I don’t fear vulnerability anymore, partially because I had the first job offer and because I had the clarity to not settle and turn it down.
I have renewed my efforts to collaborate with a colleague I deeply admire and respect in our community who I met through my networking efforts. I have a passion for educating and the opportunity to work with her to create a training program for pharmacists and counselors has presented itself to me. I am so excited for this opportunity to shine my light and another piece of my life falling into place.
I am going to Yosemite National Park this week for my birthday. It is a last minute trip and I am blessed to have this time (pause) to do this and experience life with a strong, healthy body and enjoy nature and beauty.
I will continue to seek out joy, as my focus right now, while everything is falling into place.