I have my first contract, a wonderful opportunity to consult for a formulary management company, to put my skills to work and do my magic.
I am scared.
This may not come as a surprise to you, but I have been struggling with moving forward. I want to protect myself from being in a vulnerable position to experience more trauma and humiliation. If I want to move forward, I need to let myself be vulnerable again. That sounds a lot easier than it is.
I have been inching my way forward. I have made good progress with setting up my business.
In an effort to make sense of this cold feet moment, I’m going to allow that this woke me up in the middle of the night.
Bear with me while I work through these feelings by listing them out and logically breaking them down, to make sense and not turn it into something bigger than it deserves.
I’m afraid of experiencing the humiliation that came from losing my job.
I’m afraid that I won’t bring value and even as I write this, I realize how ridiculous that is…. I need to shut this down. End of story, I’m shutting it down!
Am I biting off more than I can chew? I hired a business coach to keep me on track and to hold me accountable with my priorities.
These are the 3 things that are freaking me out. My fear of humiliation, imposter syndrome and lack of time which are not insurmountable and even if it happens again, I will learn and grow from it, like I did before. I’ve come too far to shut down now, it is my time to step up, expand and shine my bright light and let it land.
Yes!!! We learn from every experience in life, good or bad. You are growing in courage and confidence and not letting fear hold you back from what is on the other side. You 👏 got 👏 this 👏!!!!
You inspire me Colleen! You are the strongest, most resilient person I know and it means a lot to get to know you these past few years. I appreciate your vote of confidence. 💖
Nivedita,
I got fired. After almost 2 decades of working tirelessly for the good of the company. After receiving a number of awards and accolades for my good service………
It was traumatic and took me a while to understand that in the end, it really wasn’t about me or my performance, it was more about the ego’s of those above me and the reality in corporate America…
You are a rock star, my friend. DO NOT EVER doubt your knowledge and abilities!!
The Universe brings change to our lives to
remind us how good we really are.
YOU GO GIRL!!’
Thanks Kim! You are an inspiration to me! I always admired you and enjoyed working with you. The thing I’m beginning to understand is that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, and it’s pretty amazing to be in the other side of trauma because I know I can get through anything. I have had great support and when I see how things like this happen to amazing people like you, I realize I’m in good company. Thanks again!
Good for you! Do it scared! Don’t let imposter syndrome win!
Yep! That’s the plan! Getting comfortable with fear!